51³Ô¹Ï

As a busy, jet-setting International Superstar, when I read about porcine distance learning I thought, ¡°That¡¯s for Moi!¡± (¡°Horses for courses¡±, Poppletonian, 8 May).

Never underestimate Pig Power. With a bijou benefaction from a Billionaire Celebrity, I can see Poppleton adopting a new brand: Piggy University. Dr Lardon has a crackling idea, and as a Leading Lady of Education, I can look forward to thousands of students learning to tell porkies, with panache.

Miss Piggy
(With creative support from my stylist, Woody Caan)